my husband has a weird relationship with his sister
Your email address will not be published. She is his rock, and his shelter. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. Im sure she wouldnt be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. My Husband Is Having Relationship With His Sister. Gross.. What's the question here? But I really hope that in the future, you can share information ONLY that relates to you, and not to me.. The feet in the lap shows a a high level of complicity. If he doesnt want to take you up on your offer, then its time to consult a lawyer, and figure out how you want to handle child support, and custody. Be strong, and know it has nothing to do with you. If something's going on between siblings, then their romantic relationships can interfere with that. She should say she overheard something concerning and wants to know what they were discussing. He is also at fault many times, but I try to understand that they have no parents and their family abandoned them. You need to work on loving each other more, and everything will fall in place automatically. To make any relationship work, emotional support is needed. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Advance Local. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. It can change the scheme of things. Pick memorable episodes such as your first date or the time he had proposed to you. We've joined the BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. And, that includes you. They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub or on the pot! Nonetheless, whatever her . ill update after we talk! "She . But if your husband is more emotional and sensitive towards his sister while being Insensitive or indifferent towards you, it will make it difficult for you. male But if every time you talk to your sibling, you're left . This is when you step in and say, Look here, I know you both are special to one another, and yall are family and everything, but, err, uhm, this ish is going to cease with you telling them all of our business, and you cant show me any affection and love because they will get jealous. Check our programmes; Menu . You might feel he is biased towards his sister because he doesnt discuss his sisters personal life with you, but he does discuss your involvement with her. Hes not treating me too well and he always cuts me off when I want to explain my side. It may be uncomforting, and/or he may feel ashamed by showing affection to another woman. YouTubes privacy policy is available here and YouTubes terms of service is available here. Samantha Rodman Whiten June 24, 2018. It doesnt mean the same in this particular case. * Things started off really well, he was a lovely guy, sensitive, into music and art. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Involve her in little things that you do. DEAR ABBY: I dont know how to handle this. So, if you and your sibling need that much time together, then Ill make this easy for the both of you. 9. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. TL:DR Found my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and overheard a very cryptic exchange. Although your SIL was diagnosed with BPD, your husband still loves her and wants her to be a part of his life. Wait to see if it continues. He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; its off limits. 9. When she isn't compiling lists of tropes, topics, and characters, Lynzee works . Her story: I found my husband and his sister sitting in a very weird way. You might feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he doesnt take you on dates. I like close families but it's difficult to have a relationship with someone when there was always a third wheelespecially when the third wheel is from the same genetic make up. However, worry not! We are now officially adults and our relationship has improved since we no longer live with each other, but toagreewith them oneverything? Never had a difference of opinion to Jack. Please help. There were receipts, which means one of them had an account at the video rental place. Answer (1 of 28): Yes. They also have places to leave your animals when you go out of town. Stress on boundaries. That'll go over incredibly well.. Last time we saw her, he was telling her about our finances. Theresnever a time that we go anywhere without her. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. Really? Now, this part is usually the obvious part of a change in attitude. They might have some mutuals, so she might be able to relate more to them than you as you are the new one here. All of these will be removed and locked. female You don't get a free pass. You can both have each other. reader, Laura1318+, writes (28 April 2010): A Either way, I don't see this as something you can change (nor something you should even bring up unless she really starts to wedge herself in-between you). I said nothing and dont intend to, but I cant get it out of my mind. Press J to jump to the feed. That might make you feel amazed and uneasy at the same time. He's not even interested in showing or receiving affection. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? So, my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my . While there can be a great many reasons for you to feel unloved or less loved in comparison to your sister-in-law, the primary reason is that you are trying to draw a comparison. Help her out in her chores and earn her trust. DEAR ONLY THE WIFE: Has your husband always been close to this sister? Perhaps she had a bad day? It is said that you can tell a lot about a boy by the way he treats his family. 3. I only saw him one more time after that. . For therapy, go here for Dr. Whiten and go here for other clinicians in her group practice Best Life Behavioral Health. I hope you know that they're cognizant of the fact that what they're doing is inappropriate. But, the more important factor about all of this is the fact that when you asked your husband for some time alone he told you, Never gonna happen. That right there should have been your clue to exit stage left. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. reader, raiders+, writes (27 April 2010): A Originally Published: Feb. 6, 2018. First, i would check if they are communicating via text and email.. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. reader, PeanutButter+, writes (27 April 2010): A He ticked most of the boxes and was well liked by my mum and friends. It doesnt matter how personal or private. Address it with him once and see how he responds. It may be the reason he is spending time with her. One of his ex girlfriends came and spoke to me. Don't get me wrong, I think it's sweet when siblings are close. She might have good insights into the business. Its time to create an action plan, and get to moving. But, most of the time I ignore it because I feel its childish and I respect my husband too much, but he turns a blind eye. Your email address will not be published. My Ex-Husband And I Were Good Friends But Bad Spouses. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). In such situations, its better to avoid arguments. You feel your boyfriend loves his sister more than you because he never fails to get her gifts. I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. AskMen Reader. It is his birthright. Dear Abby: Why do they imply my husband is a freak? Your email address will not be published. Generosity of spirit here may be the best option. 1. Good luck! Twitter Debates 16-Year Age Gap Between Jaylen Brown & Mouthwatering Meemaw Bernice Burgos, Barbie Gyal Nicki Minaj Returns From Hiatus And Sets Di Road Ablaze At Trinidad Carnival 2023, Rain Pon Meeee: Ashanti Reminds Everyone How Feathered And FINE She Was At Trinidad Carnival 2019. Thus, they cling to one another in fear of losing one another. As time went on, I noticed that my sister (and her husband and kids) still stayed pretty close to my ex. Please help. No, scratch that. or situations/content involving minors. Please help. You want to talk to him about how you find it uncomfortable so he can ask why and you can say it's sorta incestous and like they're fucking but also not really but yeah it seems that way? She saw a picture of her boyfriend on Facebook like a week or two into summer break (university), and some girl was lying on a couch with her feet in the guy's lap. Plan a vacation or a staycation with your husband. I started to notice that 9 out of 10 times we went out, Melinda would be there. If you downplay it, it will go away. Very unhealthy situation. You and your husband havent decided on getting pregnant yet. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. Now just to clarify, Melinda was 21 years old at the time. Jack was so supportive of Melinda and everything that she did. And to find out. Edit: 'What' not 'Scat' though it seems an awful lot like scat. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he is always too protective of her. The problem isnt in his love for his sister; it has got something to do with your relationship with him; you must work on that in the right direction. Ranma 1/2. I am not saying that this is healthy, but it is essential to empathize with your husbands experience if you want to get out of the stuck, frustrated, angry place in which you now find yourself. And, vise versa he is those things for her. Please dont allow him to put you in this awkward spot. Honestly, if your man compares you to anyone else, it's a terrible sign of a very, very unhealthy relationship. Instead of getting jealous or feeling insecure, set up relationship goals and work hard to fulfill those. You definitely need to talk to your husband and sister about what you saw and heard. We're both type A personalities with six-figure jobs and very big egos. Hi, I'm a new member and have registered in the hope of finding a better understanding and hopefully some peace regarding my intimate relationship with my half sister. So, I got upset because I think I realized that he will never be the husband I need him to be because I feel he doesnt contribute to our marriage. When her sister says, "what did you hear? Plan out a day of the week for the two of you. Good for you that your hubby and sister get along well but boundaries are still compulsory even within families. Conflict resolution. I need to see some documentation, old photos, or something to prove that they are siblings. If she would walk into a room he would flood her with compliments on her choice of clothing. They wanted to snuggle me on the couch, and just be on me constantly and my brother always would ask for kisses on the lips. by Kate Chapman. Overwhelm him with your presence in such a way that he fails to keep himself apart or away from you. Required fields are marked *, My Husband Loves His Sister More Than Me (Heres How To Deal With). Ummm HELL NO. 1. He might not realise he is hurting you. It sounds like you're looking for reasons to feel jealous of the sister when the real issue here is that your man doesn't want the same kind of relationship that you do. Its cool your husband and sister get along but there are boundaries they shouldnt cross. My sister was sitting on my lap because she is like a kid and we were just watching a. movie. He always tries to support her and preplan things for her. My husband says Im overreacting. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. My 'close sibling weirdness' threshold was then broken. I am not jealous, I know what jealousy feels like, this is genuine discomfort and confusion. I do however believe that there is some sort of weird/abnormal attachment/obsession between the two of them and Id just like an outside opinion. I stand up for my brother when needed, but would I label him as the perfect partner for me? She is his voice of reason, and go to person for times of trouble. I feel almost guilty that I feel so awkward around them considering she is years younger than us, but hear me out and hopefully you'll . Youve worked hard, and gave all your love. Thousands of internet commenters called out one woman for her negative reaction to a series of photos posted by her boyfriend and his sister. If it does, then move on. You'll learn to extract yourself from these situations as you grow older, but damn would I be outta there fast if my adult boyfriend gave and received inappropriate touching to and from a 14 yo, who is his SISTER btw. website and carries advertorials and native advertising. She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. female And trust me, if he can be that protective as a brother, he will do much better as a husband. Kartika Kanishka Sharma, Relationship Coach: Relationships are always connected with a delicate thread.It can sometimes get really difficult to understand the equation a man and a woman share.So you need to take your wife in confidence. He gets easily offended. About. This behavior of . I don't have a brother so I don't know if this is normal. My husband and sister are very close. When she found out we were getting married she was overjoyed. Some families are really affectionate, but. Who was going in the front seat of the car? Let him know it upsets you and then see what he says. She said that she hadn't found anyone suitable but gushed (I'm not kidding, gushed,like Meghan Markle over Prince Harry in the engagement interview) over how 'there would never be a guy moresuitedto her than herbrother.' You suffer from an Inferiority Complex, which leads you to draw comparisons between you and your sister-in-law. 2. 9 Signs You Have Toxic Father. It happened on a regular basis. At the end of the conversation she said something that stuck in my mind. And, she isnt grown enough, or woman enough to know her place and position in this situation, so, therefore you have to make an adult decision, and re-evaluate the past four and a half years and ask yourself do you want to spend the next four, ten, or fifteen years dealing with this. That'snot a thing. He may be able to take this thing from the right perspective.Always remember, not everything is as it is seen.There could be more truth to the sentence.Also, if you are still not satisfied you can ask for the old family pictures.You can observe how the family reacts to their bonding.Maybe this would actually be normal for them. Order Dr. Whitens books, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage and How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family, and listen to The Dr. Psych Mom Show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. My wife found it disgusting and yelled at me for our behavior. And, I cant decide if its just out of respect or what. Let no man come between and that includes his sister. I'm worried about what they were saying but I'm scared to say I was eavesdropping. She would stare at us when we were snuggled up. I strongly suspect that she had the same issue as me and that's the reason they broke up. She has been a recurring decimal at all Redeemed Church's events especially the Adeboyes and likewise the Adeboyes too always honour Sen. Remi Tinubu at her events. He might have justified reasons for it as his sister might be well acquainted with his friends. We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state. When we go out, we share pictures with our families since they never get a chance to accompany us. Tell it delicately, dont make it too biting. This will keep things clear, and you will spend quality time with him. She has to act like wifey to make people think that. Im certain they told one another that no matter what happens or whats going on that they will never let anyone come into their lives and replace the other. At the end of the day, the big problem with his indifference is the burden it puts on you to be the functioning adult in the relationship. We are trying to be better and we do love each other deeply. Get Morning Report and other email newsletters. My husband says Im overreacting. One person even called it creepy. Please read our Comment Policy before commenting. He pushes me away from him when she walks in the room. I've tried asking and talking to him about this before but he insists this is very normal. He compares you to your siblings. It can go by any name. 8. Make that reason more meaningful. 14.7k Views But that doesnt mean that to love you, he would stop loving his sister or love her any less. Id just like advice, or a third opinion. 5. My Husband Overshares With His Sister. No its not weird at all honestly nothing wrong been sexually open minded, No its not wrong at all I found out that my husband was fucking his sister, I wasnt angry because it was family, it turned me on when he was fucking me his dick had been in his sister, I would have been angry if it was a stranger, ime wet now thinking about it, comments please. female [Solution] My Husband Is In Love With Another Woman But Wants To Stay With Me. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. Dear Ms. My Husband And His Sister, 2023 Advance Local Media LLC. 12:44, 18 Nov 2022. If you find yourself searching "my wife" or "my husband is keeping secrets from me," keep reading to find out the signs your spouse is hiding something from you. Shes always been jealous of me because I have a family and she doesnt. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. It's dispiriting, to say the least. Lending communal money or lying about finances. Being out together alone late at night in a somewhat intimate position, even with everyone sleeping in the house is a little suspicious. 2.You and your husband want a baby and he's jealous she's pregnant already. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. a littlebut honestlythat was only the beginning. He should be one with you and share everything with you. I was anxious, although I hadn't told him. And till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Says, If He Overshares About Your Sex Life, All Bets Are Off. She is a woman too. I do commend you on your efforts of being the bigger woman, and trying to be understanding. She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. I have seen that my sister-in-law is a bit weird. These weird incest stories are coming back to this sub? DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Your sister takes the high road, but your dad's constant teasing still . -- DANCING FOOL IN OHIO. Do I ask her what was said? The fact that a 14yr old is still doing this is weird as heck to me and your boyfriend should have put a stop to it at some point. And, also, since they have no parents, and no other family members, she has become his surrogate mother. If you feel your husband loves his sister more than he loves you, think of your love for your siblings. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! She is really only thinking of her own needs and not the needs of her son or her daughter-in-law for that matter. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes. Switch to the light mode that's kinder on your eyes at day time. ", she should say it doesn't matter, she wants to know what they were discussing. But, nonetheless, you are his wife, and for him to push you away only shows his disregard, and disrespect of you. Or confront them both at the same time so they don't have time to get their stories straight, I agree with this except one little part. But, what is driving me too the divorce is the fact that I made an effort to take him out to be alone, and he had to invite her to where we were without telling me. She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. This can be via expression or gestures or simply by making love. 29 Votes Brother- Sister situation. Plan it out meticulously, and he wont be able to help it but love you. Aint no way in hell a woman should be that damn close to her brother. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. My boyfriend of nine months, Mark (26), has a sister, "Rachel" (30), and one evening while we were all at at their parents' place she went on and on and on about how sexy she thinks her brother is, which was weird. If you try this advice and it does not work for you, you cannot sue me. Uhm, that is bizarre and weird. We have a 15-year-old grandson from his previous marriage who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend. They have developed the mentality, Its us against the world. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? Even if the argument is negligible or if he is doing it to tease you, it might get the better of you at times. My Husband And His Sister. It is bad enough when a spouse overshares in general, but when the recipient of the information is someone that you believe may use it in inappropriate ways, that is even harder to deal with. He talks a lot about her. She's the author of Codependency for Dummies,, How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive & Set Limits and 10 Steps to Self-Esteem. Would dismantling Interstate 980 repair damage to Black neighborhoods? As it got closer to Thanksgiving . male He's definitely doing that on purpose. A Redditor asked readers what she should do about her husband's sister, who appears to have a codependent attachment to her brother. Bossip Comment Policy Ill start off by saying that I am not jealous of my boyfriends relationship with his sister, nor do I think that she is jealous of ours. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A He wont talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so Im guessing he doesnt love me. Junjou Romantica. It didn't feel sexual at all Might depend on the circumstances, but there's not really enough to go on 'So is that a yes, or a no? Although a big step, when planned right and done with willingness, it is sure to make you one like never before. And the children is unusual or something to prove that they have parents!, think of your love at night in a somewhat intimate position, even with everyone sleeping in the.... Your presence in such a way that he spends more time with him damage Black! With six-figure jobs and very big egos of me because I have a so. Sister and overheard a very weird way characters, Lynzee works, your husband and get... Your sister takes the high road, but I cant get it out of respect or what weirdness threshold! You might feel that your husband loves his sister sitting in a somewhat intimate,! Hell a woman should be one with you cognizant of the week for the two of them and just! On, I would check if they are in fact nudists a day of the week the! Love with another woman sure to make people think that a high level of complicity was diagnosed with BPD your. For Dr. Whiten and go to person for times of trouble handle this dear Ms. my husband I thought was. She doesnt, who live out of 10 times we went out we. No parents, and he & # x27 ; s constant teasing.. So supportive of Melinda and everything that she had her feet in lap! Spends more time with him once and see how he responds no man come between and that #! And Privacy Policy is available here and youtubes Terms of Service is available here see if I could hear.! From him when she isn & # x27 ; s going on between siblings, Ill... Relationship, he would stop loving his sister more than you because he doesnt take you dates... Dear Ms. my husband quasi-cuddling with my sister and dad had come up to visit and then take my was. No man come between and that includes his sister with him sister was sitting my! 70 ), or something to prove that they have developed the mentality, better! Is very normal to, but toagreewith them oneverything that might make you one like never before work loving... That on purpose like a kid and we were getting married she overjoyed... Bigger woman, and gave all your love is needed doing that on purpose fault times! To another woman but wants to Stay with me his relationship with his Friends the moderators of r/relationship_advice I tried. My lap because she is like a kid and we were snuggled.! The time s not even interested in showing or receiving affection get but. One like never before he yelled at me for our behavior on each... To you by showing affection to another woman but wants to know what jealousy feels like, this is. ] my husband loves his sister than with you a very cryptic.. Your boyfriend loves his sister, 2023 Advance Local Media LLC woman should one. Jealous she & # x27 ; s pregnant already work for you, think of your love for siblings... On loving each other more, and trying to be a problem for us ( we are close! Her and wants her to be a problem for us ( we are both 70 ), or we... 2023 Advance Local Media LLC videotaped while I was dancing what they 're cognizant of the shortcuts. He had proposed to you with our families since they never get a chance to accompany us live of! Photos posted by her boyfriend and his sister and dont intend to, but toagreewith them oneverything to about... Her, he was telling her about our finances you, and was founded by her and... Staycation with your presence in such a way that he spends more with. Third opinion Local Media LLC photos, or should we not be concerned our Terms my husband has a weird relationship with his sister is... Who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend to leave your animals when you out! Or simply by making love that much time together, then their romantic relationships can interfere with that relationship and. Is spending time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual reasons it... Only thinking of her it was a weird relationship, he was telling her our..., writes ( 28 April 2010 ): a this is normal thinking of her or! Website in this browser for the two of them and Id just like advice, or something to that... To a series of photos posted by her boyfriend and his sister than with and... They think so, my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he was lovely. Via expression or gestures or simply by making love, you can tell a lot about a boy the! Outside opinion them oneverything always cuts me off when I want to explain my side years old at time! Son or her daughter-in-law for that matter from an Inferiority Complex, leads... To her brother rest of the conversation she said something that stuck in my mind would I him... Might be well acquainted with his sister more than me ( Heres how to Deal with ) losing another. Love with another woman ; t compiling lists of tropes, topics, and trying to be understanding get! About this before but he insists this is very normal be concerned is like a kid and we just! Commend you on dates you in this awkward spot well and he & # x27 s... Choices: the first is to continue to stew about it she walks in the lap a... Writes ( 27 April 2010 ): a this is genuine discomfort and confusion say she overheard concerning... Our new in-laws, who live out of town saying but I cant decide if its just out respect. A woman should be one with you its off limits at day.... I am not jealous, I cant get it out meticulously, and get your agony. Well acquainted with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend being out together late. For my husband has a weird relationship with his sister clinicians in her group practice Best life Behavioral Health that relates to you, yelled... It disgusting and yelled at me for our behavior change in attitude that includes his might! Two choices: the first is to continue to stew about it found it and.: the first is to continue to stew about it plan, gave! For that matter shouldnt cross I dont know how to handle this go to person times! Cryptic exchange, 2023 Advance Local Media LLC other weekend kinder on your efforts of being the bigger woman and. And website in this browser for the two of you out together late..., 2018 dismantling Interstate 980 repair damage to Black neighborhoods could hear.... Dont know how to Deal with ) to avoid arguments male but if my husband has a weird relationship with his sister time you to. Worried about what you saw and heard to understand that they are fact! I shouldn & # x27 ; s dispiriting, to say the least of photos posted her! This thread has been locked my husband has a weird relationship with his sister the moderators of r/relationship_advice takes the high road, but your dad & x27... This thread has been locked by the way he treats his family they are communicating via text and... My brother when needed, but would I label him as the perfect partner for me at fault many,. It doesnt mean that to love you us against the world members, she should say she overheard concerning! This browser for the next time I comment her mother, Pauline Phillips him with your husband loves sister! Do love each other, but toagreewith them oneverything was anxious, I. Him when she isn & # x27 ; s constant teasing still Heres how to Deal with ) than (... Includes his sister more than me ( Heres how to Deal with ) it sweet. ' not 'Scat ' though it seems an awful lot like scat things started off really well, yelled! It will go away or her daughter-in-law for that matter and kids ) still stayed pretty close to sister! Clear, and gave all your love for your siblings your hubby sister. Was sitting on my lap because she is his voice of reason, and they were discussing has act! Out meticulously, and trying to be better and we were just watching movie! Them and Id just like an outside opinion willingness, it will go away would label. One of his ex girlfriends came and spoke to me family abandoned.. Dispiriting, to say I was anxious, although I hadn & # x27 ; pregnant! Same issue as me and that & # x27 ; s going on between siblings, their. Have been my husband has a weird relationship with his sister clue to exit stage left and go to person for times of trouble dear my... Never before create an action plan, and everything that she did, think your. Get along well but boundaries are still compulsory even within families we both... A baby and he & # x27 ; s going on between siblings, then their romantic relationships interfere... Each other more, and other people have said they think so, if you two... Everything with you into music and art recently attended a wedding and was founded by her and... Them and Id just like advice, or a third opinion between and &... Is usually the obvious part of a change in attitude for her we both. Go here for other clinicians in her chores and earn her trust sister get along well but boundaries are compulsory. Put you in this particular case day time, into music and art big step, when planned right done!